Turning anger to passion

And yet again...my anger turns to passion as my best transplant friend, Karis, lies in the TICU at UPITT after a very difficult, 8 1/2 hour surgery. She was to have her ostomy reconnected, and while in there they discovered a very ulcerated small bowel pointing towards possible rejection or an infectious process. If it's rejection, it's not treatable and she is not eligible for another transplant. If it's an infection, it may or may not be treatable. They will know if the intestine is salvageable after the biopsies come back. She has been in the hospital most of the time since early November fighting fevers, bleeding, infections, seizures, malnutrition, and so many other complications. She's pulled through so many things so many times...I'm amazed at her fight, but not sure how much she has left in her.

This has fueled me even more. G-PACT is fighting even harder than ever to find better treatments for GP and CIP. This has got to stop. We have lost too many people recently to these devastating conditions. It's extra frustrating that there are options available, but the FDA is banning everything because a very small number have major reactions...and even those studies are substandard and not well substantiated.

I'm making a lot of progress on G-PACT. I have one of our brochures very far along which is encouraging and has helped me relax a little bit. I ran into some problems with the website...basically...our host deleted the new one. Fortunately, I have the files still. I just have to republish again. It still has a ways to go, but I am anxious to get it up because so many people are becoming so active and we need a more current site.

I am registered for the DDNC in March and have my train and hotel booked. I am very excited! How awesome it feels to be on the forefront fighting these conditions and knowing that in some small way I may be able to help save or improve lives in the future. I have an awesome team involved who are so passionately pursuing all of our avenues. We are especially bonded together after all the recent issues.

Please keep Karis and her family in your prayers. I believe in miracles...but sometimes this becomes so overwhelming. I take every single person I work with very seriously and personally, so every single death or new challenge weighs me down. In recent incidences, however, these people have been especially close to my heart and very good friends. Naturally, with each death and new complication, my fears for my own health and future are revived. While trying not to look to the past or relive the memories, and trying not to deal with the unknown of the future, it is challenging even to deal with the present right now.